Tell Me, One More Time

Come here, you say
closer
and fold into the dent of my chest
the crook of my shoulder.
In the open window the
candle betrays the wind's
springs breath and the
night settles down around us.

Don't move, not now,
let's be still, hold this moment
before we open our bodies,
and tell me, one more time

how you came to find me.

-slyons

It's been a while since I've written. To say my absence was due to having been too busy would not be the complete truth. I have been busy, really....but honestly, it's been the lack of desire to write that has kept me silent. I've tried to write. I've started numerous posts only to erase them after a few sentences. Felt guilty that I haven't even had the energy to say "Hello, I'm here. I'll be back soon". Even now as I read what I've written the overwhelming feeling to delete and try again tomorrow is hard to resist. I don't know why I've felt like this.....I do know that my inability to express myself, especially emotionally, does not stop here. For months now I've closed myself off emotionally to those around me as well. I don't know why. I'm just tired. I feel physically exhausted all the time, as though I've run a marathon when all I do is sit in front of a computer all day at work. Life hasn't for the most part been bad. Life is as life can be...there are ups and there are downs. Some days filled with happiness and love and hope. Other days, darkened by frustration and anger. There have been good things that have happened since I last wrote. Really, there have been. I just don't feel like writing about them now. Maybe, I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe.

I'm tired.
The bed calls loudly my name.