I have to make a list. A list of all the things I must do in order to keep busy. Every minute of my waking hours must be occupied. I wont think about him. I look in the mirror and face the woman I've become. My eyes red from crying. My heart in shreds. I look beyond that and see who I must become again. A profile on a sex site is what I found last night. A superhero no more. How long did I look at it before I could call him. Unable to even speak. So quick to seek revenge for crimes he finds me guilty of. Always so quick to inflict the most severe of punishments. Confronted...defensive, sarcastic, "Whatever" he says.
What goes around comes back around, I tell myself.
I don't think he knows that.
I had a breast augmentation procedure several days ago. A new body and now a new life. I look at myself and think I look different. I don't mean in the obvious my breasts have gone from a C cup to DD's. I see anger. I see a girl who does not believe in the things she did just a year ago. I don't see the girl that believed in soul mates.
I see a woman who knows better.
3 Love Letters:
it would be too easy if they cared because then we couldnt be alone with our heartache
Hey Moni, I'm so sorry to hear what has happened. You have endured much harder situations and I know that you will move forward and find yourself again...maybe you already have.
~me
you'll be ok...
you'll see...everything will be alright...
***hugs***
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