Paint The Two Of Us On A Canvas In Chains

Love taken away came back with a thunderous roar with reminders of touching memories, love songs and dreams of a life that once was deeply desired. Confusion, disbelief and even anger clouded my mind and soul. I pushed the past and the present away and for a moment wanted nothing to do with what was once there and what existed now. Promises were made and just as easily broken... and just as quickly as the storm came, it passed, and I was left with the remembered sadness of months passed. The ache I had fought so hard to conquer came back with force and I felt defeated again. I was again an island of melancholia in a sea of sorrow. The dust eventually settled and I understood that what lingers there still, beneath the surface must be accepted. It is up to time to decide if like a tattoo it is there for a lifetime, or if it will fade and only the outline will remain.

In the wake of the storm I discovered that love didn't leave my side for a moment. Love was still standing there, reaching out to me, calling me to him. I am lucky I know...to have someone that loves me and stands beside me even when I tell him that past battles have left me wounded and that I don't know if I will ever truly be healed. I am lucky that he is stubborn, insisting that his heart will prove me wrong.

There are days when forgetting is a struggle. There are days when a song, a tv show, a smell, a memory will send me to a place I thought I had turned away from and forgotten. Sometimes I wish I could just forget it all. Oh, to erase the painful memories as Clementine did in The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind! How easy life would be then. How painless. I suppose all I can do is remember the good, learn from the bad and be grateful for the path that led me to where I am now.