Father's Day as expected was a bittersweet day. Tender Father-Daughter moments of days long passed occupied my mind and made for moments of sadness which have carried over to the mood of today. I saw it coming, this wave of disquiet. I've tried to stay focused on the blissful images of life yet to be shown by people that love me, but it's been difficult.
Today there is a deep sadness in my heart. I feel stripped bare of the facade of strong woman and I feel weak. I am tired. My soul is weary. I've not slept well in days. Physically, I am exhausted and I don't feel well. My health and the stresses of trying to be upbeat have been laying heavy on me. I try not to focus on those things in my life which I have no control over but it's hard to not want to reach out and take control of the wheel when I see my life going in a direction I had not planned it would go. I can do nothing but sit back and watch as the hand is dealt and the game is played.
Tomorrow I know the clouds will part and the sun will come up and I will once again be the optimist girl that believes things happen for a reason and that from every heartbreaking situation you become stronger....but today, I will just allow the tears to fall like rain and pray they wash away the sadness.
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